As Square Enix release Final Fantasy Tactics: The Ivalice Chronicles on PC, I renew my demand for my mate Richie to return the PSP copy I lent him 15 years ago

THERE CAN BE NO FORGIVENESS, RICHARD

*cavernous, torturous, 20-second-long sucking-in of breath*

RICHAAAARRRRD. RICHAARD WAAAAALKER. RICHARD WALKER, DEPUTY EDITOR OF XBOX ACHIEVEMENTS. RETURN IT TO ME, RICHARD. RETURN WHAT IS OWED. YOU KNOW OF WHAT I SPEAK. J'ACCUSE, RICHARD. J'ACCUSE YOU OF DÉROBING MA JEUX PORE LE ORDINATEUR. VOULEZ VOUS COUCHER AVEC MON TACTICS RPG, RICHARD?? LE VAUTOUR ENCERCLE LA CARCASSE, LE BOL EST SUR LA TABLE - COMMENT PUIS-JE ME RENDER CHEZ LE BOULANGER????

The twelvemonth was 2010 erstwhile you took it from me, Richard - the parent of each grid-based battlers, 1 of the top integer fables of each time, a thrilling survey successful dynastic intrigue and medieval warfare. I had yet to adjacent decorativeness the crippled myself, having agelong coveted it arsenic a younker consigned to PS1 PAL purgatory. But I could not defy your overtures, Richard! I assumed that you would instrumentality it to maine successful a month, possibly two. Little did I cognize that Final Fantasy Tactics' acclaimed branching Job strategy would schoolhouse you successful the acheronian arts of back-stabbing and betrayal, that it would poison your dove-white temperament and acceptable you upon the roadworthy to villainy.

I thought we were bros, Richard! Kindred spirits forged successful the occurrence of communal incompetence! We came up successful this concern together! Remember erstwhile I held your dictaphone for you portion you interviewed BioWare's Ray Muzyka, Richard? I was terrified it wouldn't prime up his audio, truthful resorted to kneeling betwixt you similar a penitent sinner, waggling the mic backmost and forth! We looked similar idiots, but it's fine! It's fine! We got implicit it! I hardly ever deliberation of the scalding embarrassment and humiliation!! Muzyka is immoderate benignant of magic medicine brewer now, anyhow - who gives a fuck what helium thinks? The cardinal happening is that it was a bonding experience, a instauration for everlasting trust! What did I ever bash to you, Richard!? What transgression person I committed for you to dainty maine this way?!?!

I sanction you, Richard, I sanction you successful the nationalist forum, successful the tribunal of our peers. With bleeding hands I carve these words successful ten-feet precocious letters upon the mausoleum of posterity: "Here stands indicted Richard Walker, bastard. Faithless one! Breaker of oaths! Smudger of covenants! Pact-shirker! Dog-leech! Cut-purse! Larkspell! Trencher-mouth! Let nary invited him. Let each faces crook from him. Let each doors beryllium closed to him! Let his nutrient sensation similar ashes and his favourite videogames play similar The Lord of the Rings: Gollum!"

You thought I had forgotten, Richard. And to beryllium honest, I did forget, due to the fact that it has been specified a precise agelong time, Richard, but Square Enix did not hide - today, they merchandise a caller mentation of the crippled connected Steam with enhanced visuals, and lo bash I rouse successful horrified designation from my dreamless slumber successful the murmuring silt of the abysmal sea, lo bash I emergence successful the coruscating incandescence of my implicit fury and indignation to burst upon the aboveground satellite and accost the traitor!

RICHAAAARD. RICHAAAARD WAAAALKER. My PSP's artillery whitethorn person swollen up similar a diseased appendix, but I inactive person my 32MB Memory Stick Duo with a run save. It cries retired to maine for vengeance! Vengeance upon that large unclean psyche and fugitive from justice, Richard Walker, Deputy Editor of Xbox Achievements!